The first step to personal development is

Start your personal development journey by building your self-image

Have you ever sat to think about why some people are more successful than others?  It seems we all have the same capabilities, yet most people don’t accomplish what they want to achieve.

I want you to know something today

 You and I have an image of ourselves. What you see in the mirror reflects your physical being, but that’s not how we see ourselves, that’s not our SELF-IMAGE.

To see your Self-Image, all you have to do is look at all aspects of your life. Look at your body, your position, your current income. These are all the results of your inner Self-image.

Without this self-awareness, you will always think life is not fair to you if things aren’t going your way.  

What is self-esteem?

I define SELF-ESTEEM simply as ‘REGARDS’ and ‘VALUE’ every individual gives himself.

I live in a society where tongue-lashing is the common and usual way to correct people. This act is so easy. Words come out of the mouth so fast and simple but their effect is really huge.  

There are many people out there who are victims of SELF-ESTEEM abuse, unable and unwilling to come out of their shells.

   Your Self-image is what you consider appropriate for you. It’s what you see yourself doing or achieving.

Most people attempt to change their bodies, finances, or income by changing something outside of themselves when the problem lies within. Self-image becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

That’s because the strongest force in human personality is the need to remain consistent with how we see ourselves.

If you see yourself as outgoing and sociable, would you stand alone by the wall at a party? On the other hand, if you see yourself as introverted and shy,  would you introduce yourself to every stranger at a party?

 If you see yourself as conservative and safe, would you do something like bungee jumping or skydiving?

Most of us have trapped ourselves in an old self-image in expectations of what we believe is possible for us.

How did we develop our self-image?

 Most of your self-image is picked up early in life from the people around you: family, siblings, friends, teachers, society, and authority figures.  

Simple phrases such as “You’re so shy” or  “You’re such a troublemaker “ can have a huge impact on us growing up. We believe everything we’re told when we are young. The problem with this is that our self-image may not always align with what we want in life.

Recommended

1. (Podcast) How to set smart goal and actualize them
2. Have you ever felt as if something is missing in your life before?

Often when we try something new, we face much internal resistance. We feel like “this is not me”. The reason behind all of this is one of the most significant psychological discoveries of our century – It’s the concept of SELF-IMAGE.

  Hence,  teachers, parents, neighbours should be cautious of the words they use to scold or correct children.  Imagine a teacher tells his pupil “You’re such a dullard”, no matter how his aunties and siblings praise him that he’s brilliant, he would think they’re only mocking him because he believes his teacher knows best.

I once witnessed an incident where a teacher was asking his students what they intend to become in the future, it got to the turn of a very brilliant but introverted boy, he mentioned he wanted to be a writer (which he can achieve due to intelligence) but for the fact that the boy’s parents struggle to have a two-square meal daily, coupled with the fact that he works for a chairman in their community who sponsors his education till Secondary level, the teacher couldn’t think of any way than telling him  

“You, you! A nobody from Ajegunle. Who will read your books?

I fumed, burning in anger at where i sat. When i recovered from the shock, i went to the principal and told him the teacher is not qualified to be a teacher.

Yes!  Teachers are ought to encourage and instill a positive mindset in their pupils, not the other way round. If that boy didn’t get any positive after his teacher’s outburst, what do you think would happen? Anytime he tries to achieve his dreams and faces any challenges, he would quickly drawback thinking “don’t let me over-stress my parents for nothing, after all, I’m a nobody from Ajegunle. No one would read my books”. Ajegunle is a local community in Nigeria 

We’ve read several articles about some mothers maltreating their child, singing the anthem “You’re just sorrow in my life, i didn’t have happiness since you were born” e.t.c… which leads to such child committing suicide so his mother could be happy”. 

He committed suicide so that his mother will be happy.

In conclusion,

Recommended resources

1. Get clarity about your career and stop wondering about
2. Start your Self-development journey with this

If you’re reading this and you’re a victim, make sure to do this short process regularly

Self-esteem improvement process

• Write out who you want to be on a sheet of paper (It should be in a jotter).
• Read it in your mind several times.
• After multiple times, face the mirror, look at yourself and shout it loud

I’m not a loser!

I’m beautiful!

I’ll achieve my dreams

scream it till your heart rhyme says the same.

On the contrary

• Write out the negative statement you’ve been labeled with in a sheet of paper; then read it adding ”NOT”

I am not a dullard

• Afterward, tear the sheet into pieces. (Do this once)

This process may seem simple and meaningless to you but I can categorically tell you that it is effective if you do it genuinely.

Doing this shouldn’t stop you from doing the work it requires to achieve your dreams. You have to work to get results. This process will only boost your self-image till your body and mind believe it. You need career clarity afterward.

If this self-awareness and personal development journey means a lot to you, we recommend that you join our academy. Let’s hold hands on this journey. Send us a WhatsApp message.

Writer: Balqees Abdul Qoodir