Understanding emotional stress and 5 ways to manage it

Managing Emotional stress 

She use to be a happy person – a typical sanguine. She lights up everywhere she goes with her contagious smile. Hardly will you still be frowning anytime you encounter her smile

This was her life until she got this particular job. Soon, the happiest girl everyone knew disappeared. It was replaced by a tired woman who in no time became a cranky one. Her name is Temilola.

Pressure from work took her smile away. She is emotionally stressed and has no coping mechanism in place.

Are you in Temilola’s shoes right now? 

Hear me out today because your way out of emotional stress is right here.  

What is Emotional stress?

Emotional stress is a natural reaction to the pressures of living. Stress in itself is not a bad thing. It could be positive or negative.

Positive stress 

Also called Eustress is fundamental to growth, it makes you push yourself to the limit and become better at what you do. If there was no pressure to be better, most of us would not even bother to get out of bed. 

Things like learning a new skill, going to school, improving your grammar, getting a better job, controlling your temper, getting a car, building your house, etc are reactions to eustress.

Negative stress 

Also known as distress is a state of mental pain resulting from pressure buildup. It could be a negative reaction to everyday stress or a result of an underlying mental health issue.

In the real sense, what determines if a stress factor is negative or positive is the person being stressed. It’s a matter of making an obstacle a stumbling block or a stepping stone.

So this time, our personal development goal is to learn how to manage stress, to see situations more as opportunities and less as challenges because our outlook is important if we must manage stress the right way.

Signs of emotional stress

Emotional stress is manifested in two major ways mainly;

1. Physiologically.

2. Psychologically.

Physiological/physical manifestations of stress include:

• Headache.
• Dizziness.
• Shortness of breath.
• Diarrhea.
• Body pain.
• Heart palpitations.
• Chest pain.
• Sweating profusely.
• Irregular eating habits. 
• Irregular sleeping pattern. 

While psychological/Mental manifestations of stress include;

• Worry.
• Fear.
• Anger.
• Anxiety.
• Hopelessness.
• Anxiousness. 
• Over-sensitivity.

Causes of emotional stress

Factors that contribute to stress are endless but we will look at a few together.

1. Temperament or personality traits. 
2. Work pressure.
3. Relationships issues.
4. Unexpected changes.
5. Overwhelming responsibilities.

1.  Temperament or personality traits 

According to Hypocrates, there are four temperament types mainly; Sanguine,  Phlegmatic, Choleric, and Melancholic.

The sanguine are the happy ones, the phlegmatic the peaceful ones, the choleric is the proud ones while the Melancholic are the perfect ones. It is to be expected that these people would react differently to stress. 

The blithe nature of a sanguine would make it easier for them to cope with stress than it would be for the other temperaments. This is not to say that a sanguine is immune to stress just that they do not take most things to heart and that is the number one way to avoid unnecessary stress.

A Phlegmatic who is a people-pleaser may take on more than their responsibility at work just to make their co-workers smile. Think of that person at work you could always dump your extra load on. Yes, that’s a phlegmatic!

They often do not think about themselves as much as they do about others. A typical phlegmatic will stress themselves out with responsibilities that were not theirs, to begin with.

On the other hand, a choleric who links everything to their ego, and a melancholic who wants everything done right, would take every setback in life as a personal failure.

They can’t seem to understand why things wouldn’t go as planned and would overwork themselves just to make sure things fall into place, even if it kills them.

Let me make this clear once and for all

No one has just one temperament trait. We have a mixture of two or more. But out of the mixtures, one will always be dominant. For example, a person can have a mixture of Choleric and Melancholy temperaments. Whereas, the dominant one is Choleric. In a way to categorize this person, you’ll say he is a “CholMel”. Make sure that the dominant temperament is choleric first. 

This is not an article on temperament. So allow me to stop there. 

With the explanation above, you will realize that there is a need to first find out the blend of your temperaments and then work on your weaknesses. 

PRO-TIP

Take a personality test today to understand who you are, then you can cope with life pressures better.

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2. Work pressure 

Contrary to what we have been made to believe, work is fun. The thought of going to work should not feel you with dread, you should not have to go to work on Monday consoling yourself that Friday is just four days away. You should love what you do

If you love what you do, the stress from work would be positive stress that would push you to do better but if work for you is just a way to make ends meet, your chances of getting frustrated are high. 

If you hate your job, it is either you don’t have career clarity yet or the work condition isn’t your thing. You should do something about it today. 

3. Relationship issues 

When we have problems in our relationships, it is bound to make us feel stressed.  No human is an island. This means that we have people we care about whose opinions matter a lot to us. It can even be our colleagues at work.

When you have issues with these people, your stress level is bound to increase. Therefore, it is important to settle the rift as soon as possible to restore balance to your lives.

4. Unexpected changes 

If life respected your choices and followed your laid-out plan just like every other person, we will have a perfect world.

But one of the first lessons we learn in life is that things won’t always go our way all the time. 

Disappointment is a part of life. 

We make plans that sometimes fall through. This is part of living. 

For some people, it is not so simple, they thrive on routine and any unexpected change sends them into panic mode. 

5. Overwhelming responsibilities

I have a friend who works in a bank. She was always complaining about how she is always doing the job of two persons at work. But her employers never appreciated her instead, she gets scolded anytime one activity lags behind. 

There are days she calls me crying because her boss will sometimes rain abusive words on her. 

One day, she told me to help her write a resignation letter. She made up her mind to stop the job. After all, she already has her side hustle and it is enough to sustain her till she gets another job or she can even decide to do the business full time. She is her own boss even as an employee.

Having said that, if responsibilities are overwhelming, negative stress is bound t build up. 

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1. Result Oriented Mentorship (Tumihub Academy)
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How to manage emotional stress

1. Understand your personality and work on your weaknesses.

2. Read books on emotional strength.

3. Learn to discern people’s words.

4. Keep a journal. Give expressions to your feelings. 

5. Seek professional help if it ever becomes too hard.

In conclusion

Knowing how to manage emotional stress is pivotal to personal development because until you can control your reactions to things, you have not grown. 

If you have not invested in yourself emotionally, you can be likened to a glasshouse. You are vulnerable and prone to emotional attacks. All it takes is a few ’emotional stress’ stones thrown at you and you will crumble. 

Decide to build a wall of strength and resistance around your emotions today and you will realize that what stressed you before will begin to fuel your growth.

WRITER: Daniella Alli.